The Mentor I Only Met Once

It was in Nashville about 20 years ago that I met Brennan Manning for the first and only time.  An honest, broken, addicted man.  He was a grace-loving, grace-needing, grace-sharing preacher for the ages.  He changed my life with a brief message that started a seismic shift within the mantle of my faith.

Brennan and I are very different people.  He grew up Catholic, and I grew up Protestant.  He was an alcoholic, and I have chosen to not drink alcohol.  He is an established writer with best selling books, and I have a blog that no one reads.  He has shared the gospel with hundreds of thousands of people, and I have shared the gospel with many fewer.  But, we are just alike in that we are both sinners with the hope of God's grace as our only real plan to deal with this fact. 

I have no desire to turn this blog into a confessional exercise, but suffice it to say that I have no delusion of grandeur in my personal or public life.  I am a frail, sinful, imperfect, petty, scared man who needs a redeemer.  Just like Brennan.

I mentioned to my wife, Paula, that Brennan reminded me of someone who knew all the answers to a test but couldn't pass the exam.  Then, as I was haunted by what I said, I realized that perhaps Brennan knew a deeper truth-"There is no spoon."  I mean "exam."  If you know the answer (Jesus), you have passed the test.  The rest of life falls into the "unimportant" category.

I remember taking a test from a professor that challenged my need to succeed.  It was that old "read the whole test before you answer any questions" trick where the last question instructs you to not answer any of the questions and simply write your name on the test and turn it in for an A.  Just maybe Brennan followed the instructions better than the rest of us. 

We want to do well on the test to prove something, and we are going to answer those questions even if we have been told that we should not even go there.  We want to demonstrate that we deserve His attention and his devotion.  We are worthy.  We are pathetic.  The words of the Pharisee from Luke 18, "I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else" (NLT) are ringing in my ears.

Brennan never pretended to have it all together.  In fact, I have never known of anyone so transparent.  He struggled, but we all struggle.  He failed, but we all failed.  He is free; I pray that we will all find freedom.

"O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner."  Luke 18:13